I know I’ve take forever to update this fic. But here’s a little hint as to why. I do research on it. I read, I watch specials and I surf that world wide web that all them kids talk about… because I want to be sure that I build a semi-accurate reflection of what it means to be an agent. Is it 100% true? No. Because I want this to be Paily first and foremost. But I do try to ground it on things that could happen or have happened.
So this is a little behind the scenes action, so you can see what I do when I’m not updating… besides homework… which I should be doing now :(
Anonymous said: If you are not too busy I was wondering if you could update anchor my heart to yours. I started reading it and i liked it.
Anon, sorry I didn’t answer before but I’ve been doing homework all weekend. I have to turn stuff in tomorrow night. But I have Monday off! So I will try to do some writing then :)
Also I’m glad you’re enjoy the fic :)
Omg the first week is not even over and already there is a sign that I should quit school and just write paily:
I went to the tutoring center here to ask about stats class (because I suck at math/numbers) and the girl at the front desk is named Paige. She was super nice and even though they don’t offer stats help for grad students, she was like “I tutor for writing, so if you ever need help or just want someone else to look over your stuff, sign up online or drop by.”
So my new college au fic that isn’t a fic is this:
Anonymous said: Hello - How did you make out with grad school?
Anon, sorry it took me forever before answering you. It will be a bit of a long answer, but the short version is, I did get into grad school, I applied to a lot of jobs on campus to get my tuition 100% paid off and I’m moving to a new city this weekend. So I’ve been a bit busy.
The long version is that (1) my laptop with all my fics died a couple of months ago, I did recover what I was working on, but I found it hard to keep working on the fics because life just caught up with me. (2) I will be studying an MA in clinical health psychology. I’ll mostly be using a very watered down version of python to analyze a lot of data with a program called stata rather than work with people. (3) I applied to all the jobs that popped up as Graduate Assistantship positions, did interviews, got callbacks, didn’t do interviews, didn’t get a lot of jobs and then, I finally got the one I wanted like last week. (4) I had to move out of my place three weeks before I could move into my new apartment because family sucks sometimes. And (5) I’ve been re-reading all my fics and writing some things here and there of what will happen, but no actual chapters yet.
elunica-calemi: With regards to AMHTY, being paralleled to Paily canon, I have this primary concern about Paige’s storyline. I don’t know if it’s just me, but I do get that underlying tone and well, impression that Paige’s growth and character development relies heavily on her interactions and encounters with Emily. I can see how she’s inspired by the girl who captured her heart into wanting to change, to become a better person. My little dilemma here is, this “dependency” on Emily somehow jeopardizes my ideal vision of Paige wanting to change to become a better person more for herself than for any girl/Emily, she deems the need to change to be deserving for. As you said, “the kind that can keep a girl like her.” How would you weigh on this one, my friend? Are you getting what I’m saying…or probably not? What and how would Paige inspire Emily to do or change into becoming a better person? To keep a girl like Paige? I think that is what’s lacking in PLL canon and in some Paily stories. This is just me though so.. (End of rant/Paily for your thoughts “Anchor my Heart to Yours” edition here).
elunica-calemi said: I see...but what would happen to agent fuckin' sexy & badass kickin' McCullers? Will she be reprimanded for neglecting the protocol and/or be called by Wayne? I feel like Paige could explode any second now, you know given her intensifying feelings towards Emily and the pressure of keeping up with her job whilst protecting the girl she's falling for. I hope Emily would be the one to give in to Paige. I'm realizing the need for stories that assert Paige as the one being wanted & girls giving into.
You know, this is exactly what the underlying conflict of the story is about, what it’s building up to. It’s about Paige choosing between love and duty, pretty much. Because her job is to protect others. She did it with Pam, and even then, the lines blurred a little because Paige is a nice person and I think Pam is too. She wants to be a good mother; it’s what she’s been doing all her life, supporting the people she loves. So without them in the house, she would easily just extend that love to whoever was around. Which is why she could get away with touching Marco’s cheek when no other agent could.
The thing is, with Emily, Paige wants to protect her but she also is conflicted between wanting to make her happy and being kind of in love with her since they met. And we will see how these things might conflict. This is a pivotal chapter because it is showing us all these things that we didn’t consciously think about, but were still present. Just under the surface. This chapter is also important (as is the next one) because they foreshadow what will happen in the second part of this whole story. What is it? I know, but no more spoilers. So start speculating away.
As for Emily going after Paige, I want that. I do. But this story is following canon as closely as possible while still being AU. In the sense that Paige was the one that pursued Emily. Even though she was closeted and full of self-hate and doubted herself every step of the way, she still went after the girl. She wanted Emily and pursued her. This is what I want to parallel here. The Paily story at its core. Where Emily and Paige meet and by knowing Emily, not just the image of Emily, Paige starts to want to grow and become a better person. The kind that can keep a girl like her.
Well the thing is, Paige didn’t consciously know that it was fake. She took a gamble based on pretty much a gut feeling. Because the gun looked real, except for these two spots that were orange: The tip and the trigger. She only noticed it was fake when she held it, and realized that it was 1) not as heavy as it should have been for a gun that size and 2) had the orange bits. And that’s when she was like, fuck, I could have kind of killed someone if I hadn’t done done something else I wasn’t supposed to.
Hahaha agreed. You can’t forget the Paily on the side when you have Agent McCullers being a total badass and taking some frat boys down.